Why Birth Plans actually matter.
If I had a nickel for every time someone rolled their eyes when they hear “birth plan,” I’d still be just as annoyed, but I’d probably be able to afford much nicer furniture.
Birth plans get such a bad rep, but there’s a few reasons why. One reason is that birth is SO unpredictable—anyone who has given birth, been around birth, worked with birth, or helped their loved ones through the processing of birth, knows that it hardly ever goes to ‘plan’. Another reason is a much more prevalent but sinister reason—power in the birth space. Nurses have been handed a birth plan and thrown it away, saying some dismissive thing like “oh honey, you won’t need this.”, or warned their coworkers, “there’s another one with a birth plan in room 12” as if that’s the best joke they’ve heard all day. Obstetricians and midwives have been handed birth plans and said “well, at the end of the day what matters is a healthy you and baby,” or, “we already do all of this, no need for a plan”. All of these dismissals rooted in ideas of power—if they are unreceptive to you knowing your options and having opinions, they are unreceptive to your power in the birth space. In other words, the un-receptiveness of providers to birth plans tells us that your autonomy and self-advocacy is less important than their knowledge and routine. Phew—that felt good to finally write down, but it’s been pretty horrible to realize.
I’d be lying though if I didn’t admit that birth plans were questionable at some point. To me, the only one that has ever made me question the ‘need’ for a birth plan would be the first—that birth is unplannable! I’ve realized over the years, though, that the plan in of itself is not the only thing that matters when you make a birth plan; but rather, it’s the process of educating yourself on your options, finding out what important to you vs what’s not important to you, building communication centered in self-advocacy and awareness with your birth team, and the opportunity to share this with those who will be in the birth room that really matters. You can also use it as a tool in your prenatal appointments with your provider to have productive conversations about your care!
A good birth plan is ideally 1 page, includes contact information for your care team (partner(s) & family), your baby’s name, your preferences for newborn exams/care and after delivery, and has your preferences for all forms of birth: vaginal/pelvic , induced vaginal/pelvic , and cesarean. That way, no matter how birth unfolds, you know your options, your team knows what’s important to you, and it is easily communicated with everyone who should know. Another tip: choose 2 or 3 big DON’T’s, but fill the rest with your preferences.
Birth preferences (if you’d still rather not use the word ‘plan’) are so important to feel informed and establish your needs with your providers, partners, doulas, and others, because (not in spite of) the fact that birth is unpredictable.
Shameless Plug: If we are working together for birth doula support, we will build this together. If you are not planning on having a birth doula, but would still like to have 1:1 mentorship in building one, you can schedule a Birth Planning Session.